“I told you not to get too close to me.” “From the day we met, I knew I’d hurt you eventually.” “I wish you never had trusted me.” “I told you to leave, but you didn’t. I gave you the chance!” “We were never friends. I’m so sorry.” “I did something terrible.” “It was inevitable, but I regretted it every step of the way.” “I’m mainly sorry that somewhere along the way, I started to care about you.” “I guess this is a lesson in not trusting people, right?” “How long?…Since the beginning.” “I wish I could just make a wish and become a better person.” “None if it was real, but I wish it was.” “Do you think I liked hurting you?” “I hurt people. It’s all I’m good at.” “I did it because I had to, not because I ever wanted to.” “I -did- care about you, I just had no other choice.” “You should have walked away when you had the chance.” “If we had never met, it would have saved us both some grief.” “I know it hurts, but I’m still glad we had the chance to know each other.” “Hurting you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” “I didn’t want it to be like this, but I had no control!” “I guess I’ve just never been a trustworthy person.” “I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t want to forgive me either.” “So? Aren’t you going to say something?” “If I tell you what I did, we’ll probably never see one another again.”
“When were you going to tell me about this?” “Why me? Of all people, why me?” “You planned this all from the beginning?” “I wanted so badly to think you were different.” “How could you lead me along like that?” “None of what we had was ever real, was it?” “So, our friendship didn’t mean anything to you?” “I would have done anything for you, but you’ve ruined all of that.” “All of the things I sacrificed for you didn’t mean a thing?” “I wish I had known when we met that you were such a vile person.” “If I could go back, I would just walk away.” “I forgive you, but I’m not going to forget what you did.” “No. I don’t accept your apology.” “After all your lies, how do I know you mean it when you say you’re sorry?” “I hope you realized what you did was cruel.” “I still care about you.” “Just tell me that your feelings towards me were genuine.” “What on earth is worth betraying someone who loves you?” “If you want to regain my trust, you have to earn it.” “Don’t just say you’re sorry. Show me that you’re sorry.”
hypothesis: every time the phrase ‘the church’ appears in this comic book, it was an alteration made by some or other editor. the writer’s original script read ‘eddie’s pants’.
OKAY
THIS IS LITERALLY A SEX SCENE
LIKE THEY JUST STRAIGHT UP FUCKING. YOU CAN NOT GIVE ANY CONTEXT THIS JUST LOOKS LIKE SEX.
LOOK AT THE YELLOW FLASHES AROUND V. THATS THE OLD COMICBOOK ORGASM EQUIVALENT OF A PUNCH GOING “POW”
[text] You should have told me you wanted me out of your life.
[text] I should have never let you back into my life.
[text] Okay [muse’s name] what’s the deal, pretty sure this is you…listen if
you want me to leave you alone, please just tell that.
[text] Please don’t walk away.
[text] Please don’t do this.
[text] When are you going to realize I want nothing to do with you?
[text] You want nothing to do with me, I get it.
[text] I’m an idiot. You fooled me again.
[text] When I think things are about to change … I’m always proven wrong.
[text] I just want you to be happy. And you’ll be happier without me.
[text] I
just hate that someone could make me trust [him/her/them] the way that I did
[text] The truth is I’m not over you.
[text] The truth is I never really wanted to be with you.
[text] I’m seeing someone else.
[text] How the hell did you get my number, stalker?
[text] You’re so selfish.
[text] I just saw you leave with [her/him/them].
[text] FUCK YOU AND YOUR DUMB CUTE FACE
LOVING TEXTS, BITCH
[text] Did I tell you today that you’re the most adorable? Cause, yeah.
[text] Be careful.
[text] I’m only saying it because I love you.
[text] I’m only saying it because I care about you.
[text] Okay, I’m bringing coffee.
[text] I’m thinking dinner and a movie later this week?
[text] Let me take you out, please?
[text] Let me make you dinner tonight.
[text] I want you to be happy.
[text] You’re always safe with me.
[text] I can’t stop
thinking about you.
[text] I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you.
[text] I know you may not feel like you are, but you are loved. And important.
Please don’t forget that.
[text] It was so good seeing you.
[text] You don’t need this shit.
[text] I’ll be there in five minutes.
[text] Let me help, please?
[text] You’re important to me.
[text] Stop falling asleep in the bathtub. You’re going to drown and die and
leave me and I’m not having that.
[text] I would gladly watch Netflix and eat Thai with you any day.
[text] I’d give up my phone charger AND the last piece of gum for you. That’s
love.
[text] Hey beautiful no
judgment but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
ANGRY TEXTS, BITCH
[text] If you don’t want me to bust your window, I suggest you answer the
phone. Now.
[text] To quote Mean Girls, you’re a fugly slut.
[text] Are you SERIOUSLY bringing that up right now!?
[text] Lose my number, asshole.
[text] You’re so predictable and obnoxious. And it’s not only me who thinks so.
[text] …The least you could do is answer, wtf.
[text] You’re a piece
of shit human being and an even worse friend.
[text] This is YOUR FAULT. And you can’t even pretend like it isn’t, because you
know it is.
[text] Why couldn’t you just stay out of it?
[text] Holy fucking shit, take a hint, asshole.
[text] Go fuck yourself.
[text] What the fucking hell is wrong with you?
[text] You can take your stuff back as long as I don’t light it on fire first.
[text] I have cramps and a migraine so you do NOT want to mess with me right
now
[text] Bye and have a very fuck you day
SEXY TEXTS, BITCH
[text] Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
[text] Why are you so hot…like honestly, it’s not fair.
[text] Yeah, you looked good in your [dress/shirt/pants] last night but really,
they looked way better on my floor.
[text] Come over. With condoms.
[text] You should come over, clothing optional.
[text] I feel like a
nasty slut and I LOVE IT
[text] Sorry I got drunk and texted you about my sex life
[text] Sex on a rooftop – trashy or adventurous?
[text] If you’re not at my apartment, shirtless, in five minutes, I will be
personally offended.
[text] I don’t think he
likes that I’m always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get
it together
[text] It’ll be like The Notebook, except with way more of my penis.
[text] I didn’t know that all of his brothers would be hot and musically
inclined, too. That’s a dick move on behalf of biology.
[text] I DON’T WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
[text] So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us
from fucking?
[text] I just need some of your time and all of your body.
[text] I am available for nakedness
[text] I think about [him/her/them] when I masturbate so I guess you could call
it love
DRUNK TEXTS, BITCH
[drunk text] So wat are you really over me no w
[drunk text] AND I UNFOLLOWED YOU ON INSTAGRAM TOO, BITCH
[drunk text] You are my queen and my savior and I love you forever
[drunk text] You are the most beautiful girl I have ever known
[drunk text] I’m eating macaroni and cheese on a slice of pizza and autocorrect
just wrote that text for me pretty much, what’s your night like
[drunk text] Listen up slut, you’re one hot piece of ass and if [he/she/they]
doesn’t realize it, it’s their loss
[drunk text] but what’s
the point of a Disney sing off party if you’re not here. You have to be be the
Pumbaa to my Timon
[drunk text] Can you pls remind me tomorrow of how much of a fool I made myself
tonight
[drunk text] FUCK YOU YOU’RE GORGEOUS
[drunk text] I think maybe you and me should like go out and eat pizza or
something check yes or no
[drunk text] Please don’t hate me I’m too tired and too dizzy to be hated
[drunk text] I hate (him/her) but less when I’m drinking. Thanks, alcohol.
[drunk text] Omf g you need to get over here now I think I’m dyin
[drunk text] SWEEEEEEEET CAROLINE